Where Do I Find Myself
Life and love are a funny thing, one minute you have both then the next one or both can be gone.
As for me I still have life and Im happy to be breathing, that seems to be all I do these days. Take one breath at a time. I keep having to remind myself to do this becuse I've seem to for atleast the moment lost the other par of the tandem. Love where has it gone, I just woke up one morning and Mother Love was gone.
Lost and confused much like being out in the rain in the middle of the woods with no understanding of which way to go. I scramble trying to find shelter and warmth but the trees are bare and there is no place for me to find comfort. Desperate and confused I begin calling out in all directions where are you love? where did you go? what did I do? to my dismay there is little esponse just a flat line pulse reaction. Love has disappeared or has become emotionless.
Much like a vangabon I feel as though I have no place to call my comfort, though I lye where love once did. Its different now only a shell of where it once resided. I have things to remind me of love. Countless photos and stories I could tell. But all to unsatsifying, I need love in 3D. I need to feel its arms around me if only for a fleeting final moment, a soft kiss good bye would be more than what was left when left was all I felt.
The challenge to change directions is much like trying to change the current of the ocean with all the effort you can afford still little change takes place. The heavens seem to have closed or at least out to lunch, I keep waiting for a glimps of hope but the future tells he same story as the present. At least the current present the actual present is yet to be.
Do I believe love will return and if it does will it love me or will love be change to like. Like is okay but like is not missing, I like , like but its love that I want to come home. Home thats another funny word without love its just where I reside. With love though it makes a house a home.
My Sweet love of these many years, hear my hearts cry its calling out to you. Return unto me and only me . Want what I have and seek nothing more. Love where have you gone.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Now thats what im talking about Ben. Let it out. Let it heal u as u write. Ive had these same shoes on my feet as well. Wish I could take them off but not yet. Still so much for me to do. I need them on. I just hope the day comes when I realize its time to rid them. Maybe they will just fall off and i wont know it. Maybe thats how its supposed to happen. When they're gone im livin and life has remarkably and miraculously moved on and I didnt even notice.
ReplyDeleteHope you liked Sunday. I should be there again. Hope u will be too. I promise it will help. Maybe this time we can hang out afterward. Let me know.
Your friend.